This read like a gospel according to grief, rage, and really good theology disguised as heresy. Father Monk, you’ve managed to write something so sacrilegiously sacred that I genuinely don’t know whether to light a candle or flip a table.
You cracked open John 11 like it owed you money and found not just tears—but cosmic regret, human frailty, and maybe the first moment Jesus realized empathy hits different when you're not hovering above the pain but standing waist-deep in it, choking on the smell of death and your own delayed response.
The boldness to call Jesus out—not to condemn him, but to hold him accountable to his own humanity—that’s the part that stunned me. Because yeah, maybe the miracle was always going to happen. But empathy doesn’t wait for the resurrection. Empathy shows up.
And that line—"Jesus wasn’t here just to teach us but also to learn"—that’s the kind of un-credentialed theology that deserves its own pulpit. You reminded us that even the divine had to grow up in the soil of our sorrow. That maybe the real miracle wasn’t Lazarus walking out, but Jesus breaking down.
I don’t know if I want to scream, hug you, or nominate this for a banned books list at a church camp.
I will never be able to thank you enough for this, or explain your unbelievable timing. Bless you, from my heretic heart, narrowly escaped from Flannery’s “Christ-haunted South.”
This hit me right in that "truth" spot that makes everything suddenly clear. I do know people who just know they will step to the next plain and be reunited with everyone they love, so no worries. As for me, I have more questions than answers, but your viewpoint at least lets me know it's not just me.
Yes! Exactly. I've always seen this as the moment where the autistic deity actually FEELS what this whole situation is for everyone else where he was removed from the ideas before by his very nature. To me, if Jesus was anything he was definitely a God trying to understand humanity and the human experience better, in ways previously untapped. And I think that's why he cleared the slate for us. In this moment he realized it was so vast, so much deeper than he thought, to be a human in love. That there's a dark side to our moon; he theoretically knew before it but at this moment sh+t got real and practice slapped him at once from all around. Yes, yes this was a great post for sure.
Also "Planning Ahead Can Make A Difference In The End" which is a piece by Aaron Freeman originally on NPR (searching for it pulls out right up, in not gonna share links) was the thing I read to one of my families when we lost our matriarch, unable to come up with words of my own. And i barely got through it, but was asked to read it again at a different memorial for her. I wish I could read it to anyone who has lost someone, including younger you and younger I. 🫂 The price of love is high but fair, but still grief can really rip it out of us. I'm sure Jesus had a hard awakening with that one, love so strong costs grief very high.
H+ly Sh+t, this one punched me in the feels multiple times. The allusions to neurodivergence and direct application to my mom's unexpected death a year ago have me fully engaged. Thank you for turning a mostly throwaway story into one that is fully present and meaningful.
I should have known that brilliant and insightful theology would come cloaked in Princess Bride references... and with your more than slight resemblance to the fabled Dread Pirate...hmmm
I grew up being told Martha's comment was a sign of her faith in Jesus as a healer, kind of a don't feel bad I know you could have fixed it of you were here. The idea that her statement is an accusation blows my mind and warms my heart.
This read like a gospel according to grief, rage, and really good theology disguised as heresy. Father Monk, you’ve managed to write something so sacrilegiously sacred that I genuinely don’t know whether to light a candle or flip a table.
You cracked open John 11 like it owed you money and found not just tears—but cosmic regret, human frailty, and maybe the first moment Jesus realized empathy hits different when you're not hovering above the pain but standing waist-deep in it, choking on the smell of death and your own delayed response.
The boldness to call Jesus out—not to condemn him, but to hold him accountable to his own humanity—that’s the part that stunned me. Because yeah, maybe the miracle was always going to happen. But empathy doesn’t wait for the resurrection. Empathy shows up.
And that line—"Jesus wasn’t here just to teach us but also to learn"—that’s the kind of un-credentialed theology that deserves its own pulpit. You reminded us that even the divine had to grow up in the soil of our sorrow. That maybe the real miracle wasn’t Lazarus walking out, but Jesus breaking down.
I don’t know if I want to scream, hug you, or nominate this for a banned books list at a church camp.
Either way, holy sh*t… you made me believe again.
There aren’t words for how perfect this analysis is. You’re brilliant, and I am so glad that I’ve found you. Thank you for your unflinching honesty.
Welp, time to pick up the pieces of brain scattered around, 'cause my mind's a bit blown.
Also: of course. This makes real sense. Great analysis.
I will never be able to thank you enough for this, or explain your unbelievable timing. Bless you, from my heretic heart, narrowly escaped from Flannery’s “Christ-haunted South.”
This hit me right in that "truth" spot that makes everything suddenly clear. I do know people who just know they will step to the next plain and be reunited with everyone they love, so no worries. As for me, I have more questions than answers, but your viewpoint at least lets me know it's not just me.
This is really interesting. I love how you put things in context and help make the nonsensical make sense
Yes! Exactly. I've always seen this as the moment where the autistic deity actually FEELS what this whole situation is for everyone else where he was removed from the ideas before by his very nature. To me, if Jesus was anything he was definitely a God trying to understand humanity and the human experience better, in ways previously untapped. And I think that's why he cleared the slate for us. In this moment he realized it was so vast, so much deeper than he thought, to be a human in love. That there's a dark side to our moon; he theoretically knew before it but at this moment sh+t got real and practice slapped him at once from all around. Yes, yes this was a great post for sure.
Also "Planning Ahead Can Make A Difference In The End" which is a piece by Aaron Freeman originally on NPR (searching for it pulls out right up, in not gonna share links) was the thing I read to one of my families when we lost our matriarch, unable to come up with words of my own. And i barely got through it, but was asked to read it again at a different memorial for her. I wish I could read it to anyone who has lost someone, including younger you and younger I. 🫂 The price of love is high but fair, but still grief can really rip it out of us. I'm sure Jesus had a hard awakening with that one, love so strong costs grief very high.
I meant to say Jesus is part of a God imo. Whoops.
H+ly Sh+t, this one punched me in the feels multiple times. The allusions to neurodivergence and direct application to my mom's unexpected death a year ago have me fully engaged. Thank you for turning a mostly throwaway story into one that is fully present and meaningful.
Wow, just wow. You are a damn fine preacher. Open, intelligent, insightful, and absolutely real. I'll never read that verse the same way again.
I should have known that brilliant and insightful theology would come cloaked in Princess Bride references... and with your more than slight resemblance to the fabled Dread Pirate...hmmm
A very astute and well written essay. I learn something every time I read this Substack.
I grew up being told Martha's comment was a sign of her faith in Jesus as a healer, kind of a don't feel bad I know you could have fixed it of you were here. The idea that her statement is an accusation blows my mind and warms my heart.
Torn between Amen and WOW. Thank you