Father Nathan, you’ve just cracked open the Vatican’s finest vintage of suppressed truth and served it straight—no cassock, no chaser. It’s almost a spiritual law: the closer someone gets to describing the church accurately, the more the devout clutch their pearls like a relic slipping from sweaty palms. The tragedy isn't that Conclave was too cynical. The tragedy is that it wasn’t cynical enough. Because when men wrap politics in incense smoke and call it the Holy Spirit, you better believe it’s not the Dove descending — it’s a vulture.
You said it best: the fate of the world shouldn’t hinge on a conclave of scared old men trying to cosplay as Peter while secretly auditioning for Caesar. If the Spirit wins the day, it’ll be because She snuck in under the locked doors—like She did at Pentecost—not because the cardinals left any room at the table. Thank you for pulling back the veil. May the May 7th conclave be less of a cosplay convention and more of a genuine Pentecost. (But I’m not holding my monk’s breath.)
Thank you for this, padre. My wife is a Peruvian Catholic and our son was baptized into that faith about 10 years ago. We could not find a Catholic church here in the USA that would grant us this since I am a non-denominational Protestant follower of Jesus Christ and therefore a heretic in the eyes of many. I grew up in Mexico where Catholicism is (or at least was in the 70s and 80s) very fanatical but have found that elsewhere in the world it is more open to the needs of the faithful. There have been Popes I have respected and others not so much but as a non-Catholic I do not consider my opinion to be of much merit, though I am aware of the significance globally of who the Pope is and what he represents. Like many global Catholics, my wife is not as knowledgeable regarding the different "factions" within the Church so Francis' passing has given us the opportunity to discuss the more subtle intricacies of her faith and the organizational structure and implications thereof. After Francis' passing, I added Conclave to my watchlist but not as a "priority watch". This review from you has just bumped it up to "next watch" status as I respect your input deeply, especially on matters of the Church. Some of what you express here I already knew, much of it I did not. My wife's knowledge is probably less than mine on this subject (mostly because I have ADHD and research literally everything! lol), so I will share this article with her and then we will watch the movie together. Much love and respect!
After reading your most recent Unholy Sh+t article, I am going re-watch Conclave. I enjoyed it the first time, but will look at it more closely this time, thanks to your insightful article.
The only thing I’ll quibble with is about the language issue — most of my Orthodox friends don’t speak the language of the “old country.” What I do love about the Latin Mass is that it is the same no matter where you go. I’m a freak, so my Latin is pretty solid … and I know that’s not true for most people. But that’s the thing I like about at least the Ordinary being in Latin.
And this is why I’m still and will always be mad that you don’t live in Pittsburgh or at least within “meeting for a beer distance.”
Father Nathan, you’ve just cracked open the Vatican’s finest vintage of suppressed truth and served it straight—no cassock, no chaser. It’s almost a spiritual law: the closer someone gets to describing the church accurately, the more the devout clutch their pearls like a relic slipping from sweaty palms. The tragedy isn't that Conclave was too cynical. The tragedy is that it wasn’t cynical enough. Because when men wrap politics in incense smoke and call it the Holy Spirit, you better believe it’s not the Dove descending — it’s a vulture.
You said it best: the fate of the world shouldn’t hinge on a conclave of scared old men trying to cosplay as Peter while secretly auditioning for Caesar. If the Spirit wins the day, it’ll be because She snuck in under the locked doors—like She did at Pentecost—not because the cardinals left any room at the table. Thank you for pulling back the veil. May the May 7th conclave be less of a cosplay convention and more of a genuine Pentecost. (But I’m not holding my monk’s breath.)
In cheeky devotion and defiant hope,
Virgin Monk Boy
Thank you for this, padre. My wife is a Peruvian Catholic and our son was baptized into that faith about 10 years ago. We could not find a Catholic church here in the USA that would grant us this since I am a non-denominational Protestant follower of Jesus Christ and therefore a heretic in the eyes of many. I grew up in Mexico where Catholicism is (or at least was in the 70s and 80s) very fanatical but have found that elsewhere in the world it is more open to the needs of the faithful. There have been Popes I have respected and others not so much but as a non-Catholic I do not consider my opinion to be of much merit, though I am aware of the significance globally of who the Pope is and what he represents. Like many global Catholics, my wife is not as knowledgeable regarding the different "factions" within the Church so Francis' passing has given us the opportunity to discuss the more subtle intricacies of her faith and the organizational structure and implications thereof. After Francis' passing, I added Conclave to my watchlist but not as a "priority watch". This review from you has just bumped it up to "next watch" status as I respect your input deeply, especially on matters of the Church. Some of what you express here I already knew, much of it I did not. My wife's knowledge is probably less than mine on this subject (mostly because I have ADHD and research literally everything! lol), so I will share this article with her and then we will watch the movie together. Much love and respect!
After reading your most recent Unholy Sh+t article, I am going re-watch Conclave. I enjoyed it the first time, but will look at it more closely this time, thanks to your insightful article.
Wow. I reckon you've written the best commentary on the conclave one could imagine.
Brilliant and spot on analysis as always.
The only thing I’ll quibble with is about the language issue — most of my Orthodox friends don’t speak the language of the “old country.” What I do love about the Latin Mass is that it is the same no matter where you go. I’m a freak, so my Latin is pretty solid … and I know that’s not true for most people. But that’s the thing I like about at least the Ordinary being in Latin.
And this is why I’m still and will always be mad that you don’t live in Pittsburgh or at least within “meeting for a beer distance.”
Thank you for being you.