Unholy Sh+t: The God of Both

At my first parish as a young priest, we had daily Mass. The altar servers would typically set everything up before I got there, and admittedly, I didn’t always read the scriptures before those Masses. Well, I paid the price for it this week. I stood there behind the lectern, staring down at the infallible Word of God, and read aloud to the congregation, “And the Lord repented of the evil which he said he would do unto his people.” (Exodus 32:14)

Now, there aren’t a lot of great places to have a sudden onset existential crisis, but there are worse places than others, and I think behind the pulpit with your jaw on the floor is definitely on the short list of not ideal.

Can God do evil? Can God be wrong? Can God repent? Who forgives God? And who the f+ck told me otherwise?

Unholy Sh+t: An Irreverent Bible Study

5th Sunday of Ordinary Time

Today’s reading: Matthew 5:13-16

The Sermon on the Mount was our boy Jesus’ big break. Sure, he had done the whole water-into-wine bit, but he wasn’t here for cheap parlor tricks! No, he was more like one of those magicians they used to bring to school that was like, “I just pulled a quarter out of your ear! And you know why I was able to do that? Because you aren’t dead from drinking and driving.” What I’m saying is Jesus had a message he wanted to get across. He didn’t just want to be known for getting everyone drunk and giggly at parties, “I’ve got a serious side too Dad Dammit!”

The sermon on the mount is kind of like what One Hour Photo was supposed to be for Robin Williams: Jesus was finally a serious actor in the long list of potential Messiahs.

There are a lot of great one-liners in the speech too. You’ve got the classic “you are the salt of the earth!” and “you are the light of the world.” But this is one of those verses this really gets all twisted for me. The message here is that we are supposed to do good in the world: love our neighbor, be kind to those that don’t deserve it, and provide for the destitute. These are lovely things, and Jesus makes it very clear that “your light must shine before others so that they may see your good deeds!”

*checks Jesus’ forehead*

Now, I’m no biblical scholar, but… wait, yes, I am. And this is very confusing. Isn’t this the same Jesus who also said, “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

So, which is it, homie? Are we supposed to be a city on the hill brightly shining our saltiness so that we can bring honor to your Daddy, OR are we supposed to be hiding our good deeds so that God will reward our humility?

What’s even more head-spinning about this is that both of these scriptures are from the Sermon on the Mount!

Growing up in the church, this would be one of those moments when my pastor would have practiced some pretty stellar biblical yoga, contorting the scriptures until they finally fit. The reality is that these two ideas just don’t fit. And this isn’t the only time Jesus does stuff like this. A perfect example was when Jesus told everyone to go get a sword and bring it with them, but when Peter uses the sword, Jesus is like, “you’ll shoot your eye out.”

Without trying to contort the scripture to fit, I think it’s alright to just say that these are contradictory statements.

“But what does that mean?” You may ask. Well, I think it means that Jesus was fully man. He was a human being, which means he was capable of all kinds of things that could lead to moments like this: perhaps he misspoke or even changed his mind. God changes Their mind all the time. They want to build a planet; then they want to destroy it. They live humans more than the angels but then send the angels to destroy us for being human.

God definitely has a bad case of being a first-time parent.

I like the idea of the flawed Jesus who sometimes couldn’t make up his mind or the confused apostles who were doing their best to accurately tweet their long-winded fishing buddy. Then again, what if Jesus was attempting to teach us the value of both/and instead of either/or? Sometimes we are supposed to be a light on a hill showing the world what it means to be kind to others, and other times we are supposed to have the discretion to know when it’s not necessary.

I’ve done both.

There have been times when I’ve helped others in a way that was exceedingly visible, and there have been times when I’ve literally given the shoes off my feet to a stranger with no one around to see how good I am. Which one best honored God? It seems I can say both. I can justify each action in the scripture.

And maybe that is the answer: both

Because if we really pay attention to the whole of the message, the Sermon on the Mount isn’t Jesus telling us how to regulate others but ourselves. So maybe your neighbor they are supposed to be the light on the hill, and perhaps you are supposed to quietly pay for someone’s groceries and never get noticed for it.

Maybe the scriptures are less about what’s wrong for everyone to do and what’s right for you. As the gods say:

Tulio: Both?

Miguel: Both?

Jesus: Both is good!