Unholy Sh+t: the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah had nothing to do with homosexuality

Once upon a time, there was a man named Abe, and his neighbors were getting a little rowdy. Eventually, God was getting pretty annoyed with everyone there because he didn’t like how much noise they made as they danced the night away to Cher, Madonna, and Lana Del Rey. The strobe lights were giving God one hell of a migraine, and so between the music, the lights, and all of the leather, he decided to blow them all up. When Abe heard about this, he was like, “Um, that sounds a little extreme. Have you ever considered that there might be some good people in that town? I mean, I’ve got some kin down there. Don’t get me wrong, he’s kind of an asshole in general, and there’s a weird incest vibe, but does he really deserve to be exploded? I don’t think so. Maybe you should reconsider this one?”

“No, I really want to blow them up,” God responded.

But being a gambling man, God was willing to make a little wager. God and Abe negotiated the terms of their trolly problem. It began with him arguing that if fifty good people were in the city, would you consider not unaliving them? God figured that was a good round number, and he would agree to these terms. Sadly, Abe was bluffing because he knew good and goddamn well that there weren’t that many decent people in all of Sodom; he wasn’t even really that sure that his family was that great. To make an extremely long story short, Abe showed his hand and relented that there was really only one righteous dude, and that happened to be his family member. Everyone else was rotten to the core with their Grindr Apps, perfect hair, and oil-slicked abdominals. Disgusting! So the Almighty was all, “Fine, I won’t kill that ONE GUY specifically and probably not his family, but I am going to f+ck everyone else’s sh+t up because if I hear one more f+cking drag queen lip sync to Lucky by Britney Spears, I am going to unmake the entire me damned universe. F+ck, like we get it, you weren’t allowed to be yourself in the ’90s, but is that everyone's problem, Matt? You do know new music has been released since you came out. So, yeah, I’m going to kill them all. This is an abomination to me, and I am the only one who really matters, lol.”

Abe agreed that this was an entirely normal way to handle everything so they shook hands on the terms and conditions. Then Bartleby and Loki got to work blasting all the reprobates to kingdom come—the end.

Unholy Sh+t

Genesis 18-19

Pride Month Special Edition

Sodom and Gomorrah: Homosexuality vs. Hospitality

If you have heard the above story before, in any shape or form, you were likely left with the distinct impression that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because the twin cities were one massive Pride parade 24/7. The visual that most modern pastors portray is one of a big leather daddy party gone horribly wrong, but since God had yet to invent AIDS, he did things the old-fashioned way with a bit of fire and brimstone to wipe out an entire queer club. They depict them as a town entirely peopled with a bunch of wicked homosexuals running around butt f+cking each other into oblivion until God decided it was just too much for him to handle, so he went all, “Give them queers the dinosaur treatment.” KABOOM!

What if it’s possible that nothing you’ve been told about Sodom and Gomorrah is even remotely correct? Well, uh, it’s not.

The narrative begins with the conversation between Abraham and the Lord on his ways to destroy Sodom. God has decided to appear in the form of a human along with two angels who also look like people but also very, very hot; these are not the eyeballs all over their body, kinda angels, but super f+cking sexy angels, apparently. At some point during the conversation, God says something like, “Okay, you caught me! I am heading to Sodom to go blow them all!”

“Blow them all up, sir.” One of the angels whispers.

“Right, blow them all up.”

Now, this isn’t particularly unusual because God is sort of constantly annihilating people any time they annoy him in the slightest. However, these verses expose a whole lot more about God than they do the sinning going on down at ol’ Sodom. If I am honest, it’s some pretty devastating stuff for the average Sunday School teacher. It makes sense that they have chosen to bowl all this down to being about nothing more than homosexuality because that’s an easier scapegoat than having to address the major problems these scriptures actually pose. Not only is Lot supposed to be righteous, but is actually an asshole, but this story also cuts at some core theological premises: the omnipresence, all-knowing, inherent goodness of God.

God is on his way to destroy the city before he actually gets caught by Abraham. The conversation that they had, and everything that followed, was not on God’s agenda for that day. He originally intended to go to a little recon before hitting the big red button. However, because God forgot to wear his invisibility cloak that day, Abraham happened to see that God was walking around his camp. Realizing he’s got a famous influencer nearby, he yells, “Yo, God, are you hungry? I’ve got some food and sh+t. Stay a while, and let's catch up!”

This is where things get a little complicated. Abraham walks off-screen to give Aziraphale and Crowley directions before sending them on their way. The second that the three of them leave, God has a conversation with Himself, which is a totally normal thing to do. In Genesis 18:17-19 the Almighty poses a question to himself: should he tell Abe what he is about to do or lie by omission? God admits that he has heard rumors about what’s happening in Sodom, but he isn’t sure; that’s why he will check things out for himself. I need to point out, just for my own amusement, that this means God is straight-up monologuing like a Bond villain before going to commit mass murder. This moment eviscerates some core doctrines concerning the very nature of God.

The quandary that God struggles with cuts at the idea that god is omniscient. Not only does he seemingly not know if he will, or even should, tell Abraham what he is about to do, but he also has to physically go from Heaven to Earth to investigate if what he has heard about Sodom is true. Furthermore, he is clearly not omnipresent because he must go directly into the city to figure everything out for himself. If God were all-knowing and his presence existed in every part of the earth, why would he need to do that? It doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense in context of what so many of us grew up understanding about the nature of God. But this isn’t the first time that God seems to be pretty f+cking confused about what’s going on. God got himself into another gambling debt situation when he placed a little wager on Job, and another astonishing thing happened. In Job 1:6-12 it tells us that Satan walks directly into the throne room of God, and the Lord’s response is, “Where did you come from, Lucy?”

Satan responds with, “Bitch, what about it? I’ve just been walking around on earth and sh+t. Btw, Job is simping for you HARD.”

If God is all-knowing, how did he not know where Satan was? But also, what in the actual f+cking f+ck because I was always told that God and Satan couldn’t be in the same place at the same time and that Satan had been thrown out of Heaven, so why is he just wandering in there with no problem? Does heaven have a security problem? You mean to tell me that God created the whole of the world by just speaking it into existence, and he can’t spring for a goddamn RING™ doorbell camera? In both conversations, God seemingly hasn’t a clue as to what is going on.

Then there is also the whole issue of God not being so sure if he wants to tell the truth about his plans to destroy Sodom. As he is debating all this with himself, he is unsure what the right decision would be. Interestingly enough, this isn’t the first time that God has messed with the whole idea of lies of omission or with little white lies. They exist all over the scriptures. In 1 Samuel 16:1-6, God directs Samuel to lie about his intentions for going to a particular town. In Genesis 18:9–15, Sarah laughs off the idea that she might get pregnant because “she is worn out and Abraham is too old,” but when God quotes that back to Abraham, he changes the wording to not hurt Abraham's pride. God is a little fibber.

By the time we finally arrive at the problem of the wager, Abraham pleads with God not to destroy the city, which actually works up to a point. Now, it’s clear that God has their mind pretty made up on the subject. The original plan was to go down to Sodom, see what all the ruckus was about, and if they were a bunch of dirty little sinners, he was gonna smoke ‘em. Abraham is able to negotiate God down to a lighter sentence based upon certain conditions. However, this isn’t the first time that God is seen changing their mind. Moses and the Almighty have a similar exchange. God had plans to wipe out those in Moses’ charge, and basically, Moe pulls out their original contract and shoves it in God’s face, “You promised my people safety; you can’t do this!” Moses wins the debate, and I sh+t you not, the scriptures say, “God repented of the evil he planned to do to his people.” Don’t believe me? Go read it for yourself here: Exodus 32:14.

Abraham and God arguing over the fate of Sodom

It seems that the inherent goodness of God, along with their omniscience and omnipresence, is more fanfic than canon.

Now, let’s take a little intermission to focus on a very important point: so far, we’ve yet to engage with anyone who is gay. Homosexuality isn’t mentioned by God, the two angels, or Abraham. All that is being discussed is that the place is “wicked.” That is all we know about the town. Well, that and that it's only got one righteous person in the whole place, and that is where we are introduced to the most holy man you will ever meet: Lot, the man who is about to offer up his daughters to be gang raped by a mob.

***

There is some discrepancy within the scriptures about the relationship between Lot and Abraham. I know it’s shocking to learn that there are inconsistencies within an infallible book. How could this be possible! Some accounts say that Lot is Abraham’s brother’s son; others say they are brothers, while other scholars think they might be cousins. Either way, whatever the relationship is, Abraham did not want his kin to be kilt. After successfully getting God to agree to spare some folks from this micro-apocalypse, the two angels arrive at the city to investigate what’s happening so they can report to God what’s going down so he can decide whether or not to destroy the city.

Lot is waiting at the city gate when the angels arrive and pleads with them to go to his home. Initially, the angels refuse because they feel like they could get a better understanding of what the town is like by just hanging around downtown, but Lot makes it very clear that this would be a bad idea. This is when things get dicey. The towns folk, both young and old, decide to raid Lot’s home in an attempt to rape the angels. This doesn’t go very well for them because, and I don’t think we knew this about angels until now, they strike them all blind.

This is the moment that has become the sticking point theologically. We know that the town is wicked, which has already been expressed, and to the untrained eye, this is when we first see a sin take place; the threat to rape men. Over time, Christians began to believe that the sin of Sodom must be that they were all gay. Because of this misunderstanding of what was happening, the conclusion became that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of homosexuality.

Let’s break down a few things real quick.

Lot has lived in Sodom for a long time, and he is not confused about what’s going on. That is made clear by his pleas to the angels not to stay outside. He is well aware that this town has some big f+cking problems. However, when the mob attempts to rape the angels, he offers up his daughters instead. Now, if this town is entirely peopled by homosexual men, then Lot would be aware of that, and he would know that offering his daughters to these men would have no effect. Yet, he does it anyway. This is a clear indication that they were likely just generic deviants willing to harm anyone, regardless of the recipients of their violence presumptive gender. Evangelicals will often use the fact that the crowd rejected the proposal of Lot’s daughters to be raped instead, and then the mob’s refusal to take the offer, as some proof that they were all gay. This proves nothing of the sort. Like most instances of rape, this has nothing to do with sex or gender but power. These men want to show their dominance. In Genesis 19:9, the men in the mob say that Lot is a foreigner and that he has no right to judge them. It is clear that they have always treated Lot with suspicion because he is not originally from their community. They are angry with him for allowing these men to stay at his home, and they are going to assert their dominance. Tolerating one immigrant was one thing, but now, the number is multiplying!

After the angels successfully subdue the crowd, they warn Lot it’s time to leave. They warn him that they will soon destroy the city; I guess they don’t have to check with God now that their suspicions are confirmed that everyone is real sh+tty. This is the part of the story when we realize that Lot is kind of a dolt. The angels tell him that he’s got enough time to gather any of his relatives so they can escape too. Lot goes to his future son-in-laws to warn them, but they think he is joking, so they don’t leave. The scriptures say that Lot is taking too long, and the angels are seemingly getting a little trigger-happy, so they eventually grab Lot, his wife, and his daughters to drag them out of the city so they can get to killing. At some point, Lot’s wife turns around to see what’s happening, and she turns into “a pillar of salt.” I am unsure, nor does the scripture explain, exactly what happened here. I am unsure if they are presuming she is salt based on the texture and look of the impromptu statue of Mommy dearest or if they licked her; I can not say for sure. Some scholars and theologians have hypothesized that whatever happened to Sodom might be akin to a nuclear explosion and that she was turned to ash or some such thing. As fascinating as that is, that’s presuming that any of this really happened and is trying to apply logic, reason, and science to mythology, so I am not going to spend any time trying to make sense of the senseless. All we know is that she was allegedly turned to salt because she refused to listen to the “don’t turn around” rule, and somehow, they knew that the substance was salt without also turning around themselves. Also, there is no mention of them being particularly upset or shocked by this turn of events.

Lot’s wife, name unknown because of sexism, depicted as a pillar os salt

Now that mom and the boyfriends are dead, this gets Lot’s oldest daughter thinking, “We are supposed to have babies and become homemakers just like Harrison Butker told us to do, so we should probably f+ck our dad.” The two daughters put together a plan to get their father drunk, and they both raped him over the course of two nights. The scriptures make it very clear that Lot was so passed out from the liquor that he was completely unaware of them lying down or getting up.

There has been some lively debate about whether or not this counts as a rape. There have been discussions ranging from that the scriptures were altered to make Lot look like the victim and it was really his idea, while others have theorized that it's possible that this was the daughters getting their revenge on their dad for offering them up to be raped by the crowd. Whether this was a situation of a prequel to Promising Youth Woman or not is up for debate, but what is plain to me, upon a simple reading of the scripture, is that this was absolutely rape.

These are the righteous people that God wanted to save. These are the ones that weren’t nearly as bad as the men in the town. I’ve never heard a pastor or Sunday School teacher condemn Lot for offering up his daughters, or his daughters raping him in turn, or question why God isn’t omniscient, but I have heard them repeatedly rail against the Sin of Sodom: homosexuality. They are afraid to talk about how absolutely f+cked up Lot and his whole family are. Wouldn’t it make logical sense if you are trying to justify blowing up an entire town but rescue one family out of it, wouldn’t you clean up the narrative a bit? I mean, the whole Lot of them make the cast of Shameless look like they live on Sesame Street. This is a clear example of juxtaposition. The very reason we see the dirty laundry of Lot and Associates is because you are supposed to think they are awful! They exist to show how horrible everyone else must be. If these are the righteous, then you know the unrighteous are really, really bad. The bad that the townspeople participate in on the regular is never mentioned in Genesis; we just know it's terrible, and Lot exists to help us understand how bad it must be because he isn’t good either. He is horrible, but everyone else is worse.

Lot is a father who throws his daughter to the mob.

His wife refuses to listen to the explicit warning not to turn around.

Lot’s daughters are rapists, just like the rest of the folks in town.

They suck.

So imagine how much more the people of Sodom must be! That is the point.

The question lingers, though: what is the actual sin of Sodom, if not homosexuality? It’s another h-word altogether: hospitality.

***

Speaking of juxtaposition, if you read the story of Abraham and Lot, you will discover a unique similarity between the two men. When Abraham notices God is taking a little stroll past his tent, he immediately hops to action! He calls on Sarah to make bread, picks out an animal to be slaughtered, and then offers his tent for the three ethereal beings to chill under. His first instinct is to make sure his guests are fed and that they are cared for. When the two angels finally arrive in Sodom, Lot also greets them in a similar fashion. He is said to be waiting by the city gate, so he notices the angels immediately. He instantly offers them a home, a bath, and food. Note that no one else in all of Sodom is waiting by the gates, just Lot. Not his future sons-in-law, not the townsfolk, just him alone.

Part of the narrative of the book of Genesis is that the whole world is full of wickedness and heathen-like people who don’t give a f+ck about anyone but themselves. In many ways, the Genesis story is one of evolution: people used to be awful, but don’t worry. We are making a society, and soon there will be streets, kings, and taxes. It’ll be great.

Being kind to your neighbor, taking in the foreigner, and hospitality in general are core tenets of the scripture. It separates “the people of God” from “those of the world.” You have one segment of society that follow pagan gods, sacrifice other humans, steal from everyone, and will kill anyone they see as different. One of the earliest examples of a follower of God is that they were hospitable. This is what is being exampled here in the scripture. Yes, Lot is a flawed and f+cked person in many ways, but he follows the most basic principle of being a believer: he waits by the gate in case a stranger needs help. Yes, the way that he goes about trying to help is really, really bad. This can not be disputed or stressed enough. Lot is NOT a good guy in many ways, that is necessary for the rest of the story to make sense. Yet, despite all his flaws, he is trying to live a godly life in an impossible situation.

Had Lot not been waiting at the gate, if he had just been home like everyone else in town, he would have missed his moment of redemption, but he was. It’s clear that the angels have superhuman powers, so they probably would not have succumbed to any harm if they had stayed in the town square as they originally planned. The crowd would have likely accosted them, the angels would have just rained down hellfire from the sky, and everyone would have been destroyed, Lot and his family included. It was Lot's willingness to try to help that ultimately saved his family from destruction.

The sin of Sodom was not homosexuality; that is never stated or implied. Thankfully, we know precisely why Sodom was destroyed, and it is plainly stated in the scripture:

“Now, this was the sin of Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” - Ezekiel 16:49-50

Note the pronouns: she/her. If this was about homosexual men, why would they choose to gender the town as feminine? That doesn’t make sense. But more importantly, homosexuality isn’t mentioned. Even the argument that homosexuality might be amongst the “detestable things” doesn’t hit the mark. The word used in Hebrew, which is translated as “detestable” in this verse, is tôʿēḇâ which means “abominations” and is a generic term that encompasses all types of wrongdoing and lawbreaking. In other words, there is nothing about this story that, in any way, shape, or form, has to do with being gay. The clear text of Ezekiel makes it without dispute that the reason that Sodom was destroyed is because they had excess, that they didn’t care for the oppressed, and they were just plain awful. The historian Josephus noted this, “About this time the Sodomites grew proud, on account of their riches and great wealth; they became unjust towards men, and impious towards God, in so much that they did not call to mind the advantages they received from him: they hated strangers.” He does make reference to the attempted rape of the angels but he describes them as “beautiful young boys” and makes a point to say that these men were obsessed with both men and women and didn’t care where they placed their lust. Joe implies that God blew up a bunch of pedophiles, and regardless of political affiliation or sexual orientation, I think we can all agree the world is a better place whenever there are fewer creeps in it.

Josephus is also possibly one of the first people to use the word Sodomite but when he uses it, it is within the context not of butt f+cking but that they become so wealthy as a nation that they forgot where those blessings came from. Instead, they become paranoid about strangers. The real Sodomites are not the queer community but all of those who reject the immigrant, despise the poor, and are more concerned about wealth than goodness… who does that sound like?

***

Listen, even if I am wrong about everything I just said above, which I am not, but let’s say for the sake of argument that I am, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah still doesn’t condemn gay men. It condemns violent mobs that want to gang rape young boys. It never tells the story of an elder gay couple living in Greenwich Village with a poodle that just want to have the right to make end-of-life decisions when the time finally comes to say goodbye. What I am telling you is that this verse, though it has frequently been weaponized against our community, is not about you; it’s not about me; it’s about something entirely different.

If the conservatives didn’t have the queer community as the scapegoat, they would have to admit that this verse is really pointing at them. It’s directed at those who don’t care about their neighbor, those who would never take in a stranger who needed somewhere to find safety from the mob, they would have to face their hatred of those they considered foreign, and they would have to come to terms with the dangers of the opulence.

I am so sorry that you have become the target and that this verse has been weaponized against you. I hope that reading this brings you some healing and that you realize, as cruel as it is, they twisted this so that you would become the bad guy instead of them. But now, you know the truth. No, hurricanes weren’t sent to destroy pride parades in New Orleans, AIDS is not God’s judgment, and the destruction of Sodom was not your fault. You are beautiful just as you are, fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, how ever it is you choose to understand the divine. You are enough, you are cherished, and you are loved.

I am glad you are here.

Now, let's reclaim the word Sodomite by contextualizing it whenever it is misused; the real Sodomites amongst us are those who drown in wealth and privilege, not those who want to love who they love.