Unholy Sh+t: Jesus and that sassy ass

It’s Palm Sunday, and my question on this day is, do you hear, “Hosanna, hey sanna, sanna sanna ho. Sanna hey, sanna hosanna. Hey JC, JC, won't you smile at me?. Sanna ho, sanna hey, Superstar” in your head or was your family normal?

Unholy Sh+t: An Irreverent Bible Study

Passion Week - Palm Sunday

Today’s reading: Matthew 21:1-11

Today is the beginning of the holiest week on the church calendar, aptly known as Holy Week, and it begins with the day I like to call the International Day of Riding A$$.

How is it possible that I could make such an awful joke on one of the holiest days of the year? How absolutely crass of me! Well, I learned it from the boss, the OG: JC himself. Today might be a day of extreme reverence (or of obligation if you’re Catholic), but in reality, it is one of the biggest pranks Jesus ever pulls. He is being profoundly snarky and irreverent, but some even view his act as sedition.

Let’s rewind a bit.

Jesus has really been upping his rhetoric over the last little while. The people surrounding Jesus are starting to not just see him as a prophet and healer but believe that he is the Son of God and even God himself. A radical fringe group known as the Zealots is beginning to think that the Messiah will come and overturn the Roman government by force. Some of the Zealots are starting to wonder if Jesus might be the man for the job.

All eyes are on Jesus to see what he will do next. Everything he does from this point on will be seen as a sign of his next move, and everyone is beginning to take sides. This also means that Jesus is starting to have dissent within his own ranks. Judas is starting to become outspoken against some of Jesus’ actions (John 12:4-6), but Jesus also has a Zealot within his own disciples known as Simon (not Rocky.)

It is clear to everyone around Jesus that the mood is shifting and something will happen, but the question is, what?

The most prevalent opinion is that Jesus will charge the city and overthrow the Romans. Because nothing is new under the sun, some began to translate the prophets in such a way to believe the Messiah would arrive by way of violence and riding on a victorious horse to reclaim the land for the oppressed by way of cutting down the oppressors.

How Jesus chooses to arrive at the city gates will send a clear message about his intent. If he rides in on that horse, there are those who are ready for a fight. The disciples are also waiting to see how they will arrive in the city because they usually arrive together in one Accord.

Jesus calls some of his disciples and tells them, “listen, go into the town, and you’ll find a baby donkey. I want you to steal it.”

The disciples are all, “bro, what do we do if we get caught?”

And Jesus is like, “just tell them I need it.”

Surprisingly, this plan works, and Jesus goes into the city. Everyone is losing it and waving palm branches. At the time, palm branches are seen as a sign of victory. Does this show the intent of the people that arrived? Some have speculated that they throw the palm branches down so that the donkey's feet would never touch the ground. But is it possible they throw down the branches because Jesus arriving on the donkey, has let them know he isn’t looking for the fight the people are hoping for?

The arrival of Jesus riding in on a donkey is not what many hope to see. The riding of a donkey is seen as a sign of peace, not aggression. This is the big joke; they are waiting for the arrival of the Warrior King, and Jesus is sauntering in on the least aggressive mode possible. For the Zealots, this is considered a big blow, but for others, this is seen as a fulfillment of prophecy (Zechariah 9:9)

*Leans into the mic* That’s the joke.

Many folks are upset and saying, “this isn’t how it’s supposed to go!”

Jesus is saving through action, “Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch. I was there when it was written.”

Jesus is setting the tone for the whole rest of the week that would follow. Whatever expectations you might have about what’s going to happen next, you are going to be profoundly disappointed. Jesus is leading those who are watching on a journey with an unlikely destination. They were hopeful that this potential Messiah would bring the sword, that he would restore all things, but he wasn’t marching toward what they would see as a victory. He is marching to his death in what would be considered the greatest defeat in military history.

Except the jokes on everyone: Jesus isn’t fighting an earthly battle or trying to overthrow the government. He’s fighting an old enemy, and in order to win that battle, he’s got to leave this plane of existence and take his fight to his oldest foe: Death.

(To be continued…)